Potty Training

Started potty training Joy during the third week. Infant potty training is also known as Elimination Communication. Those who haven't heard of it would think it's 'one of those things new age moms do'. It is in fact, however, something that is not new to some of our parents who have seen their own younger siblings or neighbours kids trained that way before disposable diapers became popular and some ang moh paedi paid by a disposable diaper company (which name is now one of the most 'trusted' by parents all over the world -- even Joy's paediatrician advised we should try not to use brands other than that to reduce recurrence of nappy rash on our darling's butt!) endorsed.

When I was a new parent with Faith, I'd hummed and hawed trying to ignore my mom's advise to potty train her at infant stage; trusting instead, in what I was taught to believe in my early childhood training -- that potty training should be child-led and should generally only begin around 2.5 years old. I remember some literature I read while research during my course also mentioned possibilities of 'traumatising the child' or 'certain possible long-term impairment' if potty training started too early or is forced upon the child. The latter, I agree; the former -- is pure rubbish. Where I was raised, most born around the same time as I or before, do not have memories of wearing diapers because we were toilet-trained way before our memory began. I only have memory of sitting on a red plastic 'top hat' potty (or toppling it while I sat and rock on it daydreaming *LOL*) and the squat toilet at my grandparents' place (where I saw the last of my pacifier before I was tricked to flush it -- gone for good!)

I only found out about EC when I had to look for alternatives to get Faith out of disposables to stop her from getting nappy rash again because she had her first teeth at 3 months. I would say her bad nappy rash and fungal infection was a blessing in disguise. So we started training ourselves to understand Faith's signals via her body language and eye contacts with us at 6 months. We also taught her signs to communicate toilet needs to us. At 8 months, she signed to us when she needed to go. When she was crawling at 10 months, she'd crawl to or stretch towards the toilet when she needed to go, and she'd sometimes make 'sh' or grunting sounds to tell us. Our set-back was at 14 months, when she started a toilet-strike that has still not ended. She was uncomfortable and frustrated due to her canine and molars all budding at the same time. Too many changes happened in the family and to her routine after that, that do not help her feel better until now. She hasn't regressed in bladder control; she's just not ready to go back to the toilet again. She'd rather tell us when she needs to go or after she has done, but she doesn't want to go to the toilet. Fine -- I'll wait. No hurry; it's a matter of time.

Now with Joy, I wanted to start as early as I can. The earlier I start, the less complication I should expect later because this would then become the only way of toileting even before she could remember. What's more -- it is so much easier to do it now because infants are sensitive to every sensation and they naturally want to remain clean, dry and comfy!

It's been three weeks since I started and it's been very encouraging. With Faith and other activities happening around the house, I can't focus on Joy all the time. I chose to be consistent in certain timings that are pretty much fixed, e.g. when Joy wakes every morning, she'd pee and quite often, poo too; if she didn't poo in the morning, she'd usually do it mid afternoon or early evening. Other that those fixed times, I try to catch her when she displays certain body language, eye contact or cries that make me suspect she needs to go; and quite often, I'm right. :) I've been so encouraged. I feel this has so far brought us closer -- I become less stressed up when she cries as I learn to understand her needs better; she becomes more attached and learns to trust and feel secure with me as I respond to her needs.

Fuss? Whatever other parents might say or think -- such growing pains with my babies are every bit priceless to me.